In January of this year, my husband got laid off from work. He did not get another job until June, did not even look for one. He says he was so relieved to get out of that field that he wanted to just enjoy his life again. He would go snowboarding, biking etc all day instead of look for work, then he finally got a job waiting tables (which is where we met in college) and he would stay out late drinking after work etc. I finally had enough, so I rented my moms house and told him to figure out what he wanted and to move in if he decided to be a working part of our family.
He eventually did, he went back to work in the oilfield for 2 months and moved into my moms with me and kiddos, but then quit work to go back to school in August. Since then, he has quit school this month, taking F's since he dropped out past the deadline, and is painting someones house for work, but only does that sporadically. It is not a set job, just a handyman type of thing.
He went home (back to Maine, were in Colo.) recently and now he wants to move home. He misses his family and wants to be back there but I am happy here, have a good job, want to stay.
On top of that, he seems resentful toward me in my opinion, perhaps about working so hard for the first years of our marriage?
Also, he created a checking account that is only in his name, and his money from painting is what goes in there. It makes me think he is planning a "just in case" if he decides he wants out of this marriage. He says it isnt that at all, that he just wants to keep track of his own income, but I dont feel right about it.
What is your take on this? What would YOU do in this situation?Husband is discontent with life, wants to move home and isnt working - ?
If he's having a hard time trying to figure out just exactly what it is that he wants. You can only assume that it is not you and the children. Let the poor slob go. Let him do whatever it is that makes him happy and you will do the same. Stop playing the childish games with him or it will only prolong the misery he is putting you both through. He is showing the early signs of a man who is about to ask for a divorce. Beat him to the punch, keep your job and be firm about your decisions. Life is to short to waste time and love on a man that just can't make up his mind. You might also consider the fact that there may be another woman. That would be my guess.Husband is discontent with life, wants to move home and isnt working - ?
sounds like you all might be better off without him if he can't step up and take care of his family.Husband is discontent with life, wants to move home and isnt working - ?
No way would I quit my job and follow him to Maine right now. This man does not know what he wants at this time. Let him go back to Maine, get a good job, stick w it for at least 1 year and then think about joining him. I believe right now, he is searching for a purpose, let him search, but keep a roof over your children's head and food in their stomach. Do not jump off a cliff just because he is.
My husband and I have separate accounts but that's only because they are the ones we've had for years (before getting married). To suddenly need a separate one is very fishy. Let him move back home while you stay there. Legally separate, let him figure out what it is he wants and if he's honest with you and himself it will work out for the both of you the way it is intended.
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