14 year old aspiring writer - Please critique this excerpt from my novel!?

I am in the process of writing a novel that, in my biggest of dreams, will become successful one day. I am 14 years old and only recently discovered my love of writing....I still have a long way to go. Please excuse and don't base the entire critique on the punctuation mistakes I probably made...I'll always have time for the technicalities. I just want solid reviews on the quality of writing. Here are a few excerpts:



1.

Augusts in Maine were hotter than they have ever been during those three years of the clubhouse. 1973 was the middle year, the core year, and fittingly, it was scorching to a further extent than any other year I can remember. August of 鈥?3 was something like a moment in time captured and stretched over thirty-one days. The weather was consistent, hot and bright, the type of hot that causes one to ponder the existence of Mother Nature. It was the type that caused Nicole and me to ponder her existence, at least...we wondered if such hot spells truly could occur without a specific and highly powerful influence.



2.

I don鈥檛 believe I changed or influenced Nicole; I wanted to. I believed it was my role to dramatically alter her feelings or concerns; to tell her that everything was just fine and that she needn鈥檛 worry. I didn鈥檛 feel so certainly that it was my place, however, as the situation unraveled; we had reversed roles in a very unusual way: I was flustered and depressive, and Nicole was calm and comforting, seeming to effortlessly free me of my worries. I had to hear her through; I couldn鈥檛 become entangled in my own thoughts and lose sight of the actual situation. For, this time, there was a situation. I have found through time that is pathetically easy to believe a situation is apparent when it is actually nonexistent, though it is nearly impossible to be unaware of a true situation鈥檚 being. Not everything works vice versa.

I am glad, however, that I didn鈥檛 change Nicole鈥檚 perception, for I don鈥檛 believe there was or is or ever will be a better one. Nicole was firmly grounded in reality, yet drifted into her dreams whenever she saw fit, never allowing herself to become preoccupied with either, yet always allowing herself the freedom to explore both.

I wish that I could be so strong.





.....There they are! I'll post more! I know it's hard to understand without the entire context, but I hope you can still offer a little help. I want honest reviews, but I also want tact. I want to be a writer more than anything else in the world...it's the only thing I have a real passion for. Constructive critique (not blunt declarations of how pathetic I am, like I have received in the past...if you hate it, tell me why so I can improve!) will really help me grow as a writer.

Thanks :)14 year old aspiring writer - Please critique this excerpt from my novel!?
You've got a lot of potential, I think you just need to get a bit more comfortable with your writing style. In these excerpts it looks like you're trying too hard to sound sophisticated, there's a lot of unnecessary explaining that could be put more simply - readers don't like to have to pick apart each little phrase, they want it to flow naturally. You seem to repeat yourself a lot where there's no need, and remember to try not to repeat the same word in one paragraph (unless it's an exception and that's the whole point).
Anyway I'm being harsh here because I know you could be a good writer. In my opinion, it's not a good idea to rush into writing a novel straight away, try practising first - write a lot of rubbish and read alot. Then when you truly feel comfortable with your style and know it's time to tackle it - start a novel.
Just my opinion. Good luck :)
Wow they're really good! If u wanna publish them anywhere do it on wattpad it's really good!



Answer mine?

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;鈥?/a>14 year old aspiring writer - Please critique this excerpt from my novel!?
Well, I have absolutely nothing bad to say about them! They are fantastic!! I'm 11 and also want to be a writer... :)

Answer mine?
*Yawn* Sorry, that really, really, bored me. I wouldn't even read a novel like this. Maybe in book form it would be better, and if I had more background on it, but this just bored me.

And when I read this I think I had deja-vu... like I read a book like this before, like it's not original.



That's just my opinion. But don't give up on being a writer, because your actually an okay writer, it's just that your plot/idea bored me.14 year old aspiring writer - Please critique this excerpt from my novel!?
it looks to me like you are a writer, and you have a talent from going over this text.



At times, the language you use is too precious. Don't ever ever use words like "ponder" ("reflect," "think," etc) or "seeming" (too vague, filler material), or "for I don鈥檛 believe" (the "for" should never be used in this way, it sounds medieval.



For me, writing is about using as few, simple words as possible. I recently read "On Writing" by Stephen King (yes, the same Stephen King). Very useful. give it a shot (and there's a reading list at the end). You should also read "Saturday" by Ian McEwan. The best living English writer. Rewrite some of the passages, slowly.



What I'm trying to say is, reading books is as important as writing. If you can sleep a few hours a day, you should do as much writing as you do reading. If you can't, read more, write less, but read every day. By 20 you should've read all the world's greatest novels.