Do I write well for a 15 year old...?

I know this passage was quickly put together, and I the plot is basically about a boy who is nervous on his first day of school. This isn't part of a story, its just an example how write. Do you think the structure, punctuation, grammar, and style is pretty good :/? Thanks! (:...



The sound of the alarm clock suddenly buzzed in Tommy's ears. In an instant he opened his eyes, reached over to his nightstand, and slapped the OFF button. It was still pitch dark outside, but Tommy could feel the morning presence in the air. He continued lay in bed, staring at the ceiling.

Tommy wasn't tired. In fact, he didn't sleep all night. His mind was far too busy to possibly sleep. After all, it WAS the first day of high school tomorrow, and he dreaded this day would come. For somebody like Tommy, starting a new school year was a burden. He was always one of the misfits in his elementary and middle years, and he knew High School would be far more worse.

As the night lingered on, dozens of questions filled his mind. Would he fit in? Would he make a good impression on the first day? Would they bully him? He was afraid to know the answers to these questions, but at the same time he desperately wanted to know. "I'll just have to find out when I get there," Tommy told himself.

Rain was gently pouring on the window. It was another damp and foggy day in Maine, but that type of weather was typical year-round. Tommy knew he had to get out of bed, or he would miss the bus on his first day. It was already 6:00am, and school began at 6:35am. The bus ride itself was twenty minutes.

He honestly didn't know what to expect on his first day. He had a basic idea, but didn't like it at all.

If he wanted to survive, he thought, then he would have to survive the day--and the whole school year--all on his own. He was fifteen now, and the bullies were something that should be left behind. Who knows, maybe they wouldn't even bother him this year, "But it isn't that easy," Tommy thought. "I'm a short nerdy boy with red hair and glasses. I'm bound to be picked on by the popular kids..."Do I write well for a 15 year old...?
You write like an average to above average Teenager. There isn't anything particularly spectacular about your diction or syntax, I presume your grammar is well in check though, so that's good. Broaden your vocabulary.

Instead of "thought" use "pondered", typical vocabulary such as that.

As for descriptions, you want to use vivid imagery to capture your reader's attention.

"I'm a short nerdy boy with red hair and glasses" - that's much too blatant and blunt.

Instead, you could say "I'm terribly awkward, puny with a mess of red hair dolloped atop my head and clunky glasses that sit uncomfortably upon my wonky nose.

"It was another damp and foggy day in Maine."
Instead, say - "The overcast of mist set a foggy backdrop on another Maine Morning."Do I write well for a 15 year old...?
It's pretty average. But great in comparison to some of the bozo's in my class who can't even spell words like obvious, or acquire. All I noticed was that a few sentences were a bit choppy and you seem to have ended sentences in the wrong places. I'm not a grammar expert so I couldn't give specifics, but there are many great online references, and having your teacher look over your work can help. Happy writing!Do I write well for a 15 year old...?
Eh average I guess?